I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
