he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
