if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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