I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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