I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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