There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize