it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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