I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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