bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
