Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
