Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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