i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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