My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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