is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
