SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
