Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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