I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
