Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
