You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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