Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize