I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
