dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
