I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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