can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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