Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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