he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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