mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
