She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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