so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
