i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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