Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
