you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
