i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize