last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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