I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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