I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
