I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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