I forgot how hot balto sounded
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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