As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
