when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
