y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
