as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
