I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
