you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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