I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize