New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
