You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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