grandma shit on top of the toilet
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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