I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Come see our sink grown plant.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
