Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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