nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
