I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
