i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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