Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
