I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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