There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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