We won't sleep together?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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