How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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