your room smells of hookers.
And success
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
