We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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