I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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