They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
