His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
