Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
