We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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