shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
