We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize