That's intense
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
as a side note pls kill me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
