Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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