1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
