Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
