Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize