Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
