last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so let's talk penis.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
