i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize