This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
