Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize