I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
