We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
