before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
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