covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
