i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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