u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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