did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I didn't notice because vodka
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
