R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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