oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
