Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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